AHahaaha

The best add for a Memorial Day Clothing Sale I have ever scene. Can you imagine the guy that owns this place choosing his single 2 x 4 picture to promote his store. "Yes. This in the one. Edgy. Yet... with the flag... classic. To the press!!"

Please, vote for a kind world. She's begging you.

What The Hell?

This is my first/only real boyfriend's new girlfriend. What the Hell, world!? I assumed this guy would be alone for the rest of his life. Not because there is anything wrong with him (maybe a little) (he likes to perform as Elvis), but because... what the hell! You're not supposed to be dating a gorgeous model!? You're supposed to be dating a teacher you meet while visiting home in Ohio, then realize the big city of Chicago is too rough and tumble for you and stay with her to raise five, nice, God-fearing children. NOT be kissing this:

And the worst part is (no, the worst part is that she's a model), is that she MUST be nice. Girls this hot are usually mean, but a mean girl would never like Jason. It just wouldn't work. He wouldn't like a mean girl.
And don't worry, I'm NOT sad. We ended on the most perfect, post-graduation terms. It was clean. So I'm NOT actually upset by this. I'm just confused with the Gods. I always try to pull off these shirts and can't for the life of me!

Fucking stomach girlfriend. I'm going to start dressing in burlap sacks to my temp job (that I don't have yet). THAT will show... someone. Maybe me? Who cares. 

Temp Agency: The Interview

"I want to be a temp. I always have." The robust woman was not buying it. Her eyes squinted and she looked at me suspiciously. I immediately respected her.

"I'm not joking. I really want to be a temp right now. Preferably in the lowest level position possible. Like, I'll listen to the boss as he tells me about this family trip to Maui and laugh at all his jokes. And use the copier."
The woman sighed. "I know a couple of places that would like you."
"Sweet!""
"Use your indoor voice."
"Sorry.... (whisper) sweeeeeet." She acted like she didn't hear that joke. Goddam, I believe in this woman.

I was at a temp agency, I won't name it for security's sake (Apple One in Pasadena), trying to become "one of the people." "Honestly, I'll work at the must dull job possible by day, preferably at companies with a high suicide rate (I didn't say that), then by night, write the great American Novel!!"
She stamped my packet and asked me to follow her. I'm in.

We passed several desks with a (I guess instigated?) plaque above each with the same quote from "The Secret" until we got to "The Learning Station." Here I had to listen to a (fucking) 20 minute video and then take a test on it. My favorite questions:

- True or False: If there is an oil spill, should you step in it?

- If you are at the computer and your eyes start to hurt, you should:
B. Get even closer to it and cross your eyes.


So much to learn here! I was sent home with some tests I had to complete online. They're to make sure I am as proficient as I said I was in my application at Microsoph excel, power point, ect. I laughed. Please, I'm a Yeager. Like this is going to be difficult.
At home I was all set to zing through these babies when I realized they were kind of hard and I got my score of 43%. (Shaking fist) Acting school....

I'm going to take the rest of the tests tomorrow after my pride has scabbed over. And to add insult to injury, the test website is called ProveIt!.com.... Really? What an asshole-y website? You even need an exclamation mark? Jesus. I think I'm about to discover the mean, nasty, violent, tough-skinned underbelly of the United States of America...