Temp Agency: The Interview

"I want to be a temp. I always have." The robust woman was not buying it. Her eyes squinted and she looked at me suspiciously. I immediately respected her.

"I'm not joking. I really want to be a temp right now. Preferably in the lowest level position possible. Like, I'll listen to the boss as he tells me about this family trip to Maui and laugh at all his jokes. And use the copier."
The woman sighed. "I know a couple of places that would like you."
"Sweet!""
"Use your indoor voice."
"Sorry.... (whisper) sweeeeeet." She acted like she didn't hear that joke. Goddam, I believe in this woman.

I was at a temp agency, I won't name it for security's sake (Apple One in Pasadena), trying to become "one of the people." "Honestly, I'll work at the must dull job possible by day, preferably at companies with a high suicide rate (I didn't say that), then by night, write the great American Novel!!"
She stamped my packet and asked me to follow her. I'm in.

We passed several desks with a (I guess instigated?) plaque above each with the same quote from "The Secret" until we got to "The Learning Station." Here I had to listen to a (fucking) 20 minute video and then take a test on it. My favorite questions:

- True or False: If there is an oil spill, should you step in it?

- If you are at the computer and your eyes start to hurt, you should:
B. Get even closer to it and cross your eyes.


So much to learn here! I was sent home with some tests I had to complete online. They're to make sure I am as proficient as I said I was in my application at Microsoph excel, power point, ect. I laughed. Please, I'm a Yeager. Like this is going to be difficult.
At home I was all set to zing through these babies when I realized they were kind of hard and I got my score of 43%. (Shaking fist) Acting school....

I'm going to take the rest of the tests tomorrow after my pride has scabbed over. And to add insult to injury, the test website is called ProveIt!.com.... Really? What an asshole-y website? You even need an exclamation mark? Jesus. I think I'm about to discover the mean, nasty, violent, tough-skinned underbelly of the United States of America...