*Bird by Dragon

**

Two of the writers from the Nickelodeon show I work on took me to lunch the other day to tell me how to become a writer. It was the best conversation I've had about the writing process in years and years. I feel like for the past decade, I've been given the same advice about writing; write every day, be brave, read Syd Feild. And I cannot tell you how exhausting it becomes. But the rules and tips I hear usually are the same type of things that apply to like... baseball and Buddhism; they are fleeting and, though pretty, a bit obscure. You can't sink you're teeth into, "Write what scares you." It's more like... a vague idea that you could put on a coffee mug.

These guys, Jon and Gabe, gave me the simplest way to write a pilot spec. I will write it here so I don't forget it. And also, I might come upon this blog post ten years from now, when I'm in jail, and think, "Oh yeah, remember when I was trying to be a writer? How cute... I didn't kill my husband!!!"

AN INTERESTING WAY TO GO ABOUT SPEC WRITING:
1. Write down a list of every TV show on TV. Pick one of these out of a hat. This is the show you're writing.
(I got "Girls." Out of every show on television. That's funny. Not sure why).
2. Determine the "identity" of the show.
(Many shows have a "bread and butter" identity if you look closely).
3. Write down at least 50 ideas in which the shows' characters do something that fit this identity.
4. Watch the show and take notes. Determine the structure.
(Gabe's words on this: "Sometimes it can be as simple as an emotional structure, rather than a plot-type one.  Do episodes always start with a crisis?  Or do the end on a sad/down/bittersweet moment instead of a happy ending?  I remember big bang theory would often skip a traditional wrap-up and instead end at the funniest moment in the climax.")
5. Structure out 10 of the 50 ideas you have into an entire show.
6. Decide which one to write. And don't sacrifice character for jokes!
( I would never. I always do. Something to work on).

Basically, the writers in my room are incredibly sweet and I currently owe them a lot.


*You're really cool if you get the joke I made in the title.
** Want to sign up for this woman's writing workshop in Colorado!? It's only $500 and it's called "Disembodying Poetics." I'm sure there's space.