The Perfect Joke

I almost made the greatest joke the other day.
It would have been super elaborate, and probably super confusing, but in my mind... it would have been the perfect joke.

Last weekend I told the guy I've been in love with that I'm in love with him. It was a dramatic, Mufasa-falls-off-the-cliff-moment in my life. I'd put it on a life timeline if I were still in 4th grade. It wasn't that big of a deal to him. He was kind of underwhelmed by the moment. (I was having). Either way, we didn't get into it, but I'm 99.9% sure he doesn't feel the same way. (That .1% is sheer delusion, which, I believe, is healthy and means I have a soul).

The next day I'm at work. I work on a Nickelodeon show. If you've ever watched the network, you'd know that every episode of every show involves sliming, spilling, blasting, and all around messes. So we had a wedding episode the other day where, of course, the wedding cake gets thrown onto a character! So we had like 5 cartoonishly-giant wedding cakes laying around. At the end of the day, we still had one that wasn't smashed. The props guys begged for one of us to take it home. And I happen to be on my way to meet said guy I'm in love with at a bar with some other friends to play trivia....

Cue dream joke sequence:
What if I showed up with this 4 foot tall wedding cake and said to him...
"....I don't take no for an answer....."
or
".... It's now, or never, Len?..."
or--
The dream sequence went on so long that I didn't realize someone had already thrown away the cake.

PS. It should be noted that if the cake wouldn't have been thrown away, and this would have taken place, most of the people at the table, including Len (definitely his name), would be horrified, weirded out, and not think it was funny at all. He would probably get a restraining order on me. (Which would be hot). I just didn't want anyone reading this to think that I thought OTHER people would enjoy this joke. It was and will always be... just for me.