Why Friends with Benefits Doesn't Work

The myriad rom-coms with this plot, or, "emotional spine" to use a word from work, always have the same moral.  According to these movies, the FwB relationship never works because one person will inherently start having feels for the other.  (Note to self: write a FwB rom-com that's really serious and someone dies at the end).  And most conversations I have with friends come to the same conclusion, even though most people I know haven't been in this situation for too long. I have, and I will tell you why it doesn't work.  It's not that the feelings get in the way, it's that there's no tenable expiration date.   You cannot just "break up" with a friend because it's not working out.  I think most people would agree with me that break ups with really close friends are harder and more painful than romantic relationships that come to an end.  Usually, a break up with a good friend is because of something big.  Two people get into such a big fight, or one does something that hurts the other so much their years and years of friendship are torn asunder.  ("Don't say 'torn asunder.'"  "It's the only word I can think of!"  "People are going to think you're pretentious."  "I'M NOT PRETENTIOUS BECAUSE I CAN ONLY THINK In my opinion, good friendships have to really blow-up to completely break-up.  But romantic relationships don't have to.  At least, what I've seen, they fade away, or start becoming serious and one isn't as into another as much, so they break it off so as not to hurt the other.  There's a logical ebb and flow.

I guess what I'm saying that I initially thought was really interesting is not unique at all - I think I'm simply saying people need boundaries.  I'm a relatively relaxed person when it comes to relationships.  But without boundaries, this conversation happens over and over and over  from both parties:
"Hey, I think we're getting too serious.   I can sense you're developing feelings for me."
"No I'm not."
"Oh, okay...  Are you sure?"
"I'm sure.  I think if we would have dated ever, I'd be bored with you by like the third date."
"That's really mean."
"No it's not!  I'm just saying the truth!  It's not like we're dating, so that isn't the case!"
"Okay."
Silence. Wait two weeks.  Have the same conversation, rinse, repeat.

I think I need to date a mime.  God, we'd never fight.  But he'd pretend to hang himself a lot.

PS.  How gross is this poster!?  Ew!