VEGAS

On May 5, 2011, seven young women went to a prominent Vegas hotel to attend a pool party aptly named, "Surrender." When entering the vicinity, their purses were meticulously investigated by the security guards. Coin purses searched, advil bottles opened and dug through, cad berry eggs confiscated (choco-crackdown!)
Curious, one woman asked, "What are you looking for? What's the most common illegal substance smuggled in?" She was assuming something like ecstasy, thinking it would be easy to hide... it's a small pill? Or maybe it's powder stuck on some tape? Who knows; she assumed it was a smallish thing. The security woman looked at her dully, "Date Rape drugs. This place hosts a LOT of date rape." The woman asking the question was stunned and revolted, but her friends shrugged off the faint warning and barreled in, ready to "Surrender."

If you have never been to a hotel sponsored "Pool Party"in Vegas, conjure up this in your mind: the most violent display of flesh, lower back tattoos, and beefy, unattractive men leering at every leg that walks by in a "wedge," searching for the most unsteady legs. "Mmm, that girl in the gold bikini is about to fall down she's so drunk. I can't wait to go over and ask her what her name is and where she's from. Then maybe she'll fuck me. Or I'll drug her. Same thing."
Imagine a haven of rape. A pool, teeming with cultures of yeast infections and anal warts, floating innocently down the murky pool, awaiting its inevitable contact with a vagina and/or butthole. Guys. Vegas is so much fun.

The cluster of women went to the snack bar to get something to eat on May 5, 2011 at 1:00 PM. Things were slightly more expensive, because it's Vegas, but nothing too alarming. Until they spotted a "Chocolate Cookie." It was a slightly larger cookie, about a day old, wrapped in faded plastic. There was nothing too shocking about this meager cookie, until the eyes of the women tumbled down the hill of shock when noticing the price stated smugly on the right. $8. For one. Medium sized. Cookie. Baked and sold at the most filthy place on the planet.
This prompted one woman to think... WHO thought this was an honest price for a simple cookie? Mitt Romney? Hey-O!
(Note: This blog tries to steer clear of current, pop culture references because it believes itself timeless. When people read this blog in 20 years, they will understand and have emotional connections to each piece of genius commentary on one girl's life. However, the Mitt Romey joke stated above was just TOO FUNNY and highly original that it COULDN'T be tossed aside. And for those MackBlogMack purists, I am deeply sorry).