Voodoo was a disappointment.
I know this because I talked to a voodoo expert at Reverend Zombie's House of Voodoo in New Orleans. He had long, Russell Brand hair, one hand with short fingernails and the other with extremely long, ones and was wearing a dress. So OBVIOUSLY I was going to do and believe everything he told me.
But everything he said could be found in "The Secret." So disappointing. I wanted to buy some stuff I had to mix together with a stick and tears from my enemies!! But apparently, it's the same as all that I Ching, "Wherever you go, there you are" crapola. Which I also fervently believe in.
I bought a "gris gris" bag because he told me to. I thought there was going to be SOMETHING voodoo-y about it, but he's like, "Yeah. It's super magical. Like, rabbit's foot magical." What the hell?!
And then we went to THE Voodoo museum,
and it was like the (adorable) docent was there to convince us nothing is satanic or negative or powerful or magical in voodoo. She LOVES Angela Basset, though. So weird.
Actually, now that I think about it, the amount of Voodoo experts that emphasised how lackluster the voodoo community is.... is kind of making me think they were tricking us because they are planning a massive, world dominating uprising. Full of zombies.
Yes, that is what I'm going to assume they meant by their whole "we're not doing anything with voodoo nowadays..." vibe.
I bet Obama is behind it.
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