I've Defined the Culprit

After several years of soul searching and expensive experiments, I've found the reasons I get wasted without realizing I'm getting wasted are 1. When I'm super happy. And 2. When I'm super nervous.

All of my horribly drunk nights fall into one of those categories.  1. Birthday, friends I never see hangout time.... 2. At a weird Thanksgving of other people's families, at a weird party at Ethan Hawk's house, after hearing people read thigs I wrote... 

It all lines up.

Now that I've defined the culprit, what is the solution?  I can't change to weed smoking, because that makes me paranoid in groups and I only like smoking it alone and in the dark.  I'm thinking about getting an electronic cigarette that doesn't have nicotine in it. That will give me somethig to focus on.  Or maybe I'll just have a baby.

This girl thinks so: